How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
