But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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