i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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