Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?

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(310): View more from California

Even water is tasting like jack daniels

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him

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(260): View more from Indiana

Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days

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(248): View more from Michigan

noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.

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(618): View more from Illinois

I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.

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