i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
