I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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