True but thats because hes a fetus.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
