You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
me + whiskey = a bad person
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
