great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
