well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
