I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
