if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
