1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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