Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I pour the whiskey from now on
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
