How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
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