When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
