You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
