I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
