So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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