all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
and you fell through a lawn chair
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
