Whats the glycemic index on semen?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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