he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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