imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
