my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
they need to just BURY HIM!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
