What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
