So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
