At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
