thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
