If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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