So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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