But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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