So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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