Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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