dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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