PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
