Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
