Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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