Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
