dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
even my farts smell like vagina
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
