I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
