Moan for me like Helen Keller
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
