She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
