Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
