I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
