Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
