Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
