It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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