Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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