She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
