your parents love me but you hate me
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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