the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
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